Sowing camel seeds

by rjs
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Published on: September 8, 2014
A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

Sowing camel seeds

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

One day in early spring, while Mullah Nasruddin was ploughing his field, his friends Hamza and Faruk came up to him and asked, “Mullah, what are you planting here?”

“Camel seeds,” he answered. The Mullah then chatted with his friends for a few minutes before they continued on their way.

Late that summer, Nasruddin was walking out to the field when he saw three camels munching on the wheat growing there. He reined them and led the animals back to his stable, then went to the house and told Fatima, “My camel seeds have at last sprouted, seemingly overnight.”

The next day, Musa, the owner of the camels, finally noticed his animals had escaped their pen. Carefully, he followed their tracks to the Mullah’s place. He knocked at the house.

The Mullah answered the door and Musa said, “My camels ran off, and I followed them here. Give them back to me.”

Nasruddin scoffed, “What sort of bullshit is this? Those camels are the crop that I sowed in my own field.”

Musa took Nasruddin to court. When Bekri, the judge, asked the Mullah to speak in his defense, he said, “Your Honor, those animals are the product of camel seeds I planted months ago.”

Bekri asked him, “Do you have any evidence or witnesses?”

“I most certainly do. Let me get them.” Nasruddin left the court and brought Hamza and Faruk back before the judge.

Bekri asked them, “Did you witness the defendant, Nasruddin, planting camel seeds?”

Faruk said, “Yes, it’s true, we saw it. Early in the spring, we stopped by the Mullah’s place and saw him sowing camel seeds in his field.” Hamza confirmed the facts.

There was nothing left for Musa to say, so the judge said, “I rule in favor of Nasruddin. Case dismissed.”

 

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

now in print from Lethe Press!

 

 


The missing beard

A Mullah Nasruddin story

The missing beard

Nasruddin and his hairy ass
Nasruddin and his hairy ass

One day, the wags were at the chaishop when Faruk remarked to Mullah Nasruddin: “I hear that your donkey has become a judge in a village nearby!”

Nasruddin was thrilled to hear the good news of his old donkey’s success. When he returned home, he told his wife Fatima, “Great news, my dear! My little hairy ass has become a judge in Konya! I think I’ll go and see if he can give me a job as his assistant!”

The next morning he set out on the road. At night he stayed at an inn and told the innkeeper’s wife, “Wake me before dawn. I have something important to accomplish in Konya early in the morning and must move on!”

In the guesthouse were some students who did not know Nasreddin. While he slept, they shaved off his beard and mustache as a prank.

Early that morning, the hostess knocked on the door and shouted to the Hoca, “Hey there! Get up! It is before the crack of dawn and you must get going!” Nasreddin arose sleepily and left the inn.

Back on the road after the sun had risen, he passed by a spring, and decided to rest there. When he went for a drink of water, he saw his reflection. He was shocked to see the face of a novice monk!

After considering the matter for a moment, he finally threw his hands up and yelled, “That stupid woman was supposed to have awakened me, but she woke up some ugly, old, stupid novice instead!”

Excerpted from the forthcoming Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin.

 

  Sources  

AaTh 1284.

Burrill 76.

Marzolph 199.

Wesselski 298, cf 302, 346.

 

Prepare for the Unexpected

by rjs
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Published on: February 12, 2012

Prepare for the Unexpected

The Uncommon Sense of the Immortal Mullah NasruddinOne day, young Nasruddin’s buddies decided they would try to nab his pointy slippers. They waited around a tall cypress tree until Nasruddin walked along, then two of the boys, Hussein and Faruk, started to pretend they were having a loud argument.

“Nobody could climb that tree. It’s way too tall. No way!” yelled Hussein.

“Of course somebody could climb it,” argued Faruk. “Nasruddin, please tell this dunce that this tree is not too tall for someone to climb.”

“I doubt that anyone could climb this tree,” said Hussein, “certainly not even Nasruddin.”

“Of course he can climb it!” retorted Faruk. “He can do nearly anything! Couldn’t you climb it, Nasruddin? I bet if anyone could get up to the top of the tree, it is you.”

Nasruddin bowed slightly and replied modestly, “I can climb it, no doubt.”

“Let’s see you do it, then,” said Faruk.

“I’ll hold your slippers for you while you go up,” said Hussein, perhaps a little too eagerly.

“Well, all right then.” Nasruddin stood back and assessed the tree, and the group of boys, and then the tree again. He rolled up his sleeves, took off his slippers and tucked them into his belt, then spit into his palms as he prepared to scale the tree.

“Wait, wait, Nasruddin!” said Faruk. “You won’t need your shoes in a tree.”

“Yes, leave them here on the ground with us for safekeeping,” chimed in Hussein.

With a gasp and a grunt, Nasruddin heaved himself upward. “You never know — there might be a road at the top of this tree.” he called out as he climbed, “Be prepared, I always say.”

Excerpted from The Uncommon Sense of the Immortal Mullah Nasruddin: Stories, Jests, and Donkey Tales of the Beloved Persian Folk Hero

 

 

 

Your Daily Nasruddin

Another example of how Nasruddin outwits the local boys.

Who knows what might possibly exist at the top of the tree? You certainly won’t know unless you start climbing and keep going until you get there.

There are several other Nasruddin stories in which the Mullah finds himself in a tree, the most popular tale sometimes referred to as Cutting the branch he was sitting on, which ends up after a funeral procession at the graveyard.

Another Nasruddin story that involves climbing a tree was omitted from TUSOTIMN because it portrayed cruelty to a bear. I’ll include it in “Naughty Nasruddin.”

Donkey Knows Best

by rjs
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Published on: September 12, 2011

Donkey Knows Best

Once, an unkind neighbor, Faruk, asked to borrow Nasruddin’s poor old grey donkey.

“I’ll have to ask her what she thinks about it.”

The neighbor agreed to this foolishness, saying, “Alright then, go and ask her.”

Nasruddin returned from the stable with a long face.

“I’m terribly sorry,” he told Faruk, but my donkey is psychic, and she says the future does not bode well for your relationship with her.”

“What exactly does your prescient donkey see in her destiny with me?”

“I asked her that very question. She said, ‘Long journeys and short meals, sore bones and scuffed knees.’ Not only that, she said that you are likely to slander me and my family in my absence.”

Faruk reacted angrily and began reviling Nasruddin and his donkey, when the Mullah held up his hand and halted his tirade. “Clearly now, the donkey was correct in her assessment of you, except that you are apparently willing to slander me to my face.”

Excerpted from The Uncommon Sense of the Immortal Mullah Nasruddin: Stories, Jests, and Donkey Tales of the Beloved Persian Folk Hero

 

 

  Your Daily Nasruddin  

Another example of how Nasruddin craftily squirms his way out of lending his donkey. The Mullah is sometimes portrayed as being affluent and generous, but generally he’s said to be poor and somewhat of a skinflint.

In another story, when asked why he put his gum on his nose when eating, the Mullah replied, “Poor people always have to keep their possessions right in front of them.”

Do You Believe Me, or the Donkey?

by rjs
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Published on: September 10, 2011

Do You Believe Me, or the Donkey?

On another occasion, Faruk called on his neighbor to try to convince Nasruddin to lend him his little grey donkey.

“Terribly sorry,” he answered, “but I have already lent out the animal to go to the mill.”

No sooner had Nasruddin spoken than the donkey brayed from in the stable.

“But Nasruddin,” said Faruk, “I can hear your donkey, inside there! I’m disappointed that you won’t let an old friend like me borrow your donkey.”

Nasruddin said in his most dignified manner, “A man who believes the word of a simple donkey over that of a respectable mullah with a long white beard like me does not deserve to be lent anything.” And with that, he shut the door in Faruk’s face.

Excerpted from The Uncommon Sense of the Immortal Mullah Nasruddin: Stories, Jests, and Donkey Tales of the Beloved Persian Folk Hero

Your Daily Nasruddin

Another example of Nasruddin’s brilliant idiocy.

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