Stuck in the mud

A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

Stuck in the mud

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

One day, Nasruddin came home and said to Fatima, “My dear, why don’t you cook a nice pilaf. I feel very good today. Let’s have a nice evening.”

Fatima made a lovely pilaf for dinner, which they enjoyed greatly. After they cleaned up and were getting ready for bed, there was a knock at the door. Fatima answered it and discovered her neighbor, Setare, standing there, anxious to gossip about the news of the day.

“Our donkey had twins this morning,” shared Setare, walking right in. “But one of the little ones was born without a tail or ears. It seems so peculiar.” The women continued chatting for a while about this and that, and eventually the neighbor left.

When Fatima returned to bed, Nasruddin asked, “So what’s up with our neighbors, Setare and Hussein?”

Fatima replied, “Oh, don’t even ask. Their jenny-mule had twins this morning, but one of the little donkeys was born without a tail or ears. How weird.”

Hearing this, the Mullah became enraged, growling, “Oh, that’s just fucking lovely. Maybe twice a year, we decide to have a pleasant evening together — and then the neighbor’s donkey gives birth to twins, and it’s all ruined!”

“Mullah, calm down,” said Fatima, “it’s hardly of any consequence. Why should you get all bent out of shape about the neighbor’s deformed baby donkey?”

Nasruddin fumed, “Is it possible not to be upset about such a thing? Just think about this for a minute. Three years from now, the animal will be three years old. It’ll be taken by Hussein to the mountain to haul firewood, and one day the animal will likely get stuck in the mud of a swamp, and he won’t be able to move it. So naturally, Hussein’ll come to me to ask for help, and then since the donkey won’t have ears or a tail, there will be nothing at all to hold on to, to pull him out of the mud. What a horrid predicament we’ll no doubt find ourselves in then!”

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

now in print from Lethe Press

~

 

 


A stupid beard

A Mullah Nasruddin story

A Stupid Beard

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

One day the imam told Nasruddin, “Anyone who wears a beard longer than his fist is stupid.”

When the Mullah returned home, he checked himself in the mirror and realized that his beard was quite a bit longer than his fist. He took a lit candle and was intending to burn off only an inch or so of the offending hairs — just the part that was hanging below his fist.

Whoosh! In a flash, the beard went up in flames and he could not put it out before he singed his entire face. Now Nasruddin’s face looked like the underside of a plucked and roasted chicken.

The next day, Nasruddin went to see the imam and said, “What you told me yesterday was completely correct. A man with a long beard possesses short wisdom.”

“Idiot! I meant you should use a pair of scissors or a razor. Why in Allah’s name did you burn off your beard?”

“Well, I didn’t have either of those things, but I had some fire on hand. I admit that I lost my beard and burned my chin from ear to ear, but at least now I am free of being stupid.”

Excerpted from the forthcoming Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin, by Ron J. Suresha

 

If beards could think, they probably would decide not to set themselves on fire.

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