White halvah

A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

White halvah

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

One day, Nasruddin was walking in the market with his son, Ahmet, when he pointed to a white halvah and asked, “Boy, do you know what that is?”

Ahmet answered, “That is a pot with white onions.”

The Mullah said, “If I taught that to God, surely He would deny me His grace!”

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

now in print from Lethe Press

~

Third thief’s a charm

A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

Third thief’s a charm

One day, three thieves broke into Mullah Nasruddin’s house. They grabbed him and demanded, “Tell us where you hide your money.”
Nasruddin denied having any cash hidden, but the crooks didn’t believe him. “Until you confess the location of your treasure, you will stand on one leg.”
So they made the Mullah stand on one leg. After several hours, the thieves became sleepy, so they decided to take turns keeping watch over Nasruddin. Two of the men fell asleep while the third stayed awake with Nasruddin, threatening him with a large knife from escaping.
Halfway through the night, the third thief felt a wave of compassion for the Mullah and whispered to him, “Okay, my friend, you can switch legs. Just don’t tell the other guys.”
Relieved, the Mullah thanked the third thief and told him quietly, “My son, you seem like a decent fellow. So I’ll tell you this: my money is buried in the backyard behind the mulberry tree. Without waking your friends, quickly go now and take the money all for yourself. Then scram and don’t look back.”

Mullah Nasruddin and his donkey, Karakacan. Portrait by Jaxinto.
Mullah Nasruddin and his donkey, Karakacan. Portrait by Jaxinto.

 

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

now in print from Lethe Press

~

Putting out roots

by rjs
Categories: Announcements
Comments: Comments Off
Published on: November 24, 2014
A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

Putting out roots

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

Once Nasruddin observed a grove of trees and thought, Since those trees bear fruit, why shouldn’t I?
So the Mullah went to the field and buried himself up to his belly in theground. When night fell, the Mullah became cold and so he dug himself out and returned home.

The next day, when Fatima asked him how it went, he said, “It was okay at first. I was just about to put out roots when the cold killed them.”

 

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

now in print from Lethe Press

Thanks to the following folks for hosting readings of EAOMN:

~ Saints + Sinners Literary Festival

~ OutWrite Literary Festival, Washington, DC

~ Matt and Provincetown Public Library

~ Donnie and Greg at Bureau of General Services / Queer Division

~ Vanessa and Bank Street Book Nook

~

 

 


Stuck in the mud

A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

Stuck in the mud

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

One day, Nasruddin came home and said to Fatima, “My dear, why don’t you cook a nice pilaf. I feel very good today. Let’s have a nice evening.”

Fatima made a lovely pilaf for dinner, which they enjoyed greatly. After they cleaned up and were getting ready for bed, there was a knock at the door. Fatima answered it and discovered her neighbor, Setare, standing there, anxious to gossip about the news of the day.

“Our donkey had twins this morning,” shared Setare, walking right in. “But one of the little ones was born without a tail or ears. It seems so peculiar.” The women continued chatting for a while about this and that, and eventually the neighbor left.

When Fatima returned to bed, Nasruddin asked, “So what’s up with our neighbors, Setare and Hussein?”

Fatima replied, “Oh, don’t even ask. Their jenny-mule had twins this morning, but one of the little donkeys was born without a tail or ears. How weird.”

Hearing this, the Mullah became enraged, growling, “Oh, that’s just fucking lovely. Maybe twice a year, we decide to have a pleasant evening together — and then the neighbor’s donkey gives birth to twins, and it’s all ruined!”

“Mullah, calm down,” said Fatima, “it’s hardly of any consequence. Why should you get all bent out of shape about the neighbor’s deformed baby donkey?”

Nasruddin fumed, “Is it possible not to be upset about such a thing? Just think about this for a minute. Three years from now, the animal will be three years old. It’ll be taken by Hussein to the mountain to haul firewood, and one day the animal will likely get stuck in the mud of a swamp, and he won’t be able to move it. So naturally, Hussein’ll come to me to ask for help, and then since the donkey won’t have ears or a tail, there will be nothing at all to hold on to, to pull him out of the mud. What a horrid predicament we’ll no doubt find ourselves in then!”

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

now in print from Lethe Press

~

 

 


No time to be sick

A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

No time to be sick

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

Fatima was quite ill for several weeks, and the Mullah devotedly cared for her.
But after he had nursed his wife for all that time, he felt his strength fading and said to her, “My love! Stand up, or let me go eat something and wash myself!”
She started to cry, but the Mullah went away. She thought, This is no time be sick! Once he was gone, she rose hastily, swept the house, cooked the food, and prepared the beds. Finally Fatima, after having put everything in the house in order, finally collapsed back in her own bed.
When the Mullah returned and saw her passed out in bed, he clasped his trembling hands and ran to his wife’s side. Laying his head upon her abdomen, he shouted, “Oh, now she’s dead! My dear little boy, my dear little girl! Now you can no longer be born!”

 

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

now in print from Lethe Press

~

 

 


The hospitality bowl

A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

The hospitality bowl

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

Once, Nasruddin was traveling and entered a village that had a reputation for being inhospitable. The Mullah intended to test this stereotype, so he went up to the front door of a modest home and knocked. When the master of the house answered the knock, the Mullah simply requested a drink of water.

A moment later, the man reappeared at the door with a ceramic bowl full of milk. Nasruddin accepted it gratefully and drank it while the man watched, smiling
sheepishly.

After thanking the fellow for his kindness, Nasruddin added, “You know, I’d
heard that people in your town here were all stingy, miserly folk. Yet, I’ve found you to be welcoming and generous. You didn’t just give me water, you gave me milk to drink.”

“Oh, well, normally I wouldn’t have given you the milk,” replied the man, “except that a mouse had fallen in it.”

Mullah, stunned at the betrayal, dropped the bowl.

“Be careful, you fool!” yelled the man. “Don’t break that bowl — it’s the one that my daughter uses to piss in!”

 

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

now in print from Lethe Press

~

 

 


Four-legged ducks

A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

Four-legged ducks

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

One day Mullah Nasruddin was preaching in the mosque, and while he spoke, he became annoyed and then angry because he saw that some members of the congregation were yawning — some of them had even nodded off to sleep.
He paused, then began to talk loudly, “Recently I was taking a stroll down by the river, when I happened to see four-legged ducks drinking coffee.”
When the people heard the phrase “four-legged ducks,” their eyes opened, their ears pricked up, and their jaws dropped. Now they began to listen very carefully to the Mullah.
This made him even angrier, yelling at the congregation, “Why are you here, Muslims‽ The whole time I’m giving a thoughtful and impassioned sermon about some aspect of the Truth, and every single one of you falls asleep. But the moment I pull a whopper of a lie out of my ass, you all awaken and pay rapt attention.”

 

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

now in print from Lethe Press

~

 

 


A proper bird

A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

A proper bird

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

One day in the market, Mullah Nasruddin came across a vendor selling exotic birds of various sorts, including a stork. Mullah had never seen this sort of bird before. He bought one of these peculiar long-legged, long-beaked birds at the market, and brought him home.

When he returned home, he set the bird down on a table and got out a cage he had which previously held two pigeons. Nasruddin looked at the new bird critically, and realized that it would never fit in its cage. The proportions were all off. “You poor thing,” he sighed, “how did you ever grow into this wretched state‽”

So he took a knife and trimmed the stork’s beak and legs down to what looked like the right length. Then he put the stork in his cage and said, “Well, now not only do you finally fit, at least you look like a proper bird!”

 

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

now in print from Lethe Press

~

 

 


Cow or donkey?

A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

Cow or donkey?

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

One day, Fatima wanted milk for their children, so she nagged her husband, Mullah Nasruddin, to get a cow so they might have a steady source on hand.

“My dear,” countered Nasruddin, “I would gladly obtain for us a cow, but there is simply no room in the stable for one. It’s just large enough for my little donkey, Karakacan, and I want her to be comfortable.”

The donkey’s comfort, or lack thereof, hardly seemed rationale enough to avoid getting a cow, so Fatima pressed her husband with her request until finally he relented. He threw his leg over Karakacan’s back and rode to market and, after considerable deliberation and bargaining, he chose a healthy-looking bovine and led her home.

Nasruddin was still sure that his donkey would suffer greatly, so he took the time on his way home with the cow to acquaint Allah with his predicament. He knelt on his prayer rug and, after bowing his head, he turned up his hands in appeal to the Almighty.

“Oh Allah,” Mullah prayed, “Thou know that I love my little grey donkey, and that she won’t be at ease with a cow in the same stable. Dear Allah, if it be Thy will, please take the life of my cow, that my beloved little gray donkey, Karakacan, will be at peace.” Having left the matter in God’s hands, Nasruddin returned home, stabled and fed both animals, and went about the rest of his affairs.

The next morning, Mullah scurried out to the stable to see how his donkey managed overnight. To his shock, he found Karakacan had fallen down dead. “Ai vai,” he wailed, heartbroken at the loss of his longtime friend.

Fatima, hearing his cries, ran to the window and called out, “Mullah, what is the matter?”

“It is nothing,” Nasruddin muttered, then added under his breath bitterly, “nothing but my dear little donkey.”

After Fatima closed the window, Nasruddin fell to his knees once again in supplication to God. “Oh Allah, Thou art all-knowing and all-powerful. But can Thou not tell the basic difference between a cow and a donkey‽”

 

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

now in print from Lethe Press

~

 

 


Hot couture

A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

Hot couture

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

One swelteringly hot day at the chai shop, Mullah and the wags were discussing distant lands. Faik declared, “There are some places where it so hot that the most people go around completely naked.”

Nasruddin asked, “Without clothes, how in the world do they tell the women from the men?”

 

 

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

now in print from Lethe Press

~

 

 


«page 2 of 15»
Welcome , today is Saturday, December 16, 2017