No harm on the outside

A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

No harm on the outside

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

Once the tyrant Tamerlane wanted to test Nasruddin’s nerve and ordered him to stand in front of a wooden target with his arms spread wide open. “You are to stay there absolutely still, while three of my finest archers will each shoot a single arrow at you.”

The first archer stepped up, aimed, and sent the arrow hurtling toward Nasruddin. The arrow hit the wall behind him with a thud just below his left wrist, pinning his shirtsleeve. Nasruddin showed a resolute face, silently reciting verses from the Quran that pertain to survival.

The second soldier walked up, aimed, and shot. The arrow sliced through the air and landed with an even louder thwack just below Nasruddin’s right elbow. Now both his arms were immobilized, but Nasruddin kept composed, fervently praying to Allah.

The third arrow pierced the knot at the top of Nasruddin’s turban with a juddering twang! Tamerlane thought that at first that Nasruddin had fainted, because his eyes were closed and he was motionless. But then the Mullah opened his eyes and laughed.

Tamerlane said, “Nasruddin, you have passed my test! I command your courageousness. Rest assured I will replace your shirt and turban with fine replacements, and reward you later. Congratulations!”

Nasruddin replied in a weak voice, “If it please your Majesty, I beg of you to issue me a set of trousers as well, so that I may have a complete set of new clothes.”

“But your pants were not cut or damaged by an arrow.”

“Quite true,” said Nasruddin, “your archers did my trousers no harm on the outside. However, the inside of my trousers is a completely different situation.”

 

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

forthcoming November 2014 from Lethe Press

 

 


The Dog Minister

A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

The Dog Minister

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

One day, when Mullah Nasruddin was walking toward the mosque, he saw a large dog at the door. He shooed away the dog, but instead it ran right up into the pulpit, where it began to bark and howl.

“What an amazing thing,” cried the Mullah. “This stupid creature must have been a former minister here!”

 

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

forthcoming November 2014 from Lethe Press

 

 


Final instruction

A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

Final instruction

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

When Mullah Nasruddin had sent his daughter, Hayat, to another village to be married, a group of women came to the house to escort her to her new home.

They were well on their way when they heard the Mullah yelling from behind. He had run all the way to catch up with the procession, and everyone was surprised to see him. He approached his daughter and breathlessly said, “Daughter, I almost forgot to give you my final instruction.”

“Yes, father,” Hayat said, “what is it?”

“Bear in mind that, when you sew, you should always make a knot at the end of the thread before you pass it through the eye of the needle. Don’t ever forget that.”

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

forthcoming November 2014 from Lethe Press

 

 


An eggplant by any other name

A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

An eggplant by any other name

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

One day, Hamza brought Mullah Nasruddin a small eggplant, saying, “Mullah, I wonder what this might be. Please tell me.”

He took the eggplant and turned it around and over in his hands, examining the odd purplish thing. After several minutes of this inspection, he said, “Hamza, my friend, I cannot tell you. But let us take it to my son, Ahmet. He will know better than me.”

They took the eggplant to Ahmet and showed it to him. He, too, looked at the thing from every angle before finally declaring, “You ridiculous old farts! What’s so hard about figuring it out? Obviously, this is a baby starling whose eyes have not yet opened.”

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

forthcoming November 2014 from Lethe Press

 

 


The Prophet’s Traditions

A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

The Prophet’s Traditions

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

When he had reached old age, Mullah Nasruddin was asked if he remembered any of the sayings of the Prophet as being especially meaningful to him. The Mullah replied that he knew a Tradition retold by Akrama, which nobody else had heard. The folks were excited at the prospect of hearing an untold Tradition and pressed Nasruddin to share it with them.

“I have heard it being related,” Nasruddin began, “that Akrama heard it from Ibn Abbas, who heard it from the Prophet Muhammad, who said, ‘There are two personality traits which are not seen in a person until he is a true believer’.”

Everyone leaned forward to listen to Nasruddin relate the Prophet’s words.

Nasruddin sat back and said, “Sad to say, Akrama had forgotten one of the personality traits — and I have forgotten the other.”

 

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

forthcoming November 2014 from Lethe Press

 

 


Silent dove

A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

Silent Dove

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

One day, Nasruddin’s student, Imad, asked the Mullah, “The dove that brought the olive branch in its beak to the Prophet Noah — was it male or female?”

The Mullah replied to Imad, “Male, of course. If the bird had been female, she never could have kept her beak closed long enough to bring the branch back to Noah.”

 

Excerpted from the forthcoming Lethe Press book,

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

 

 


A ladder to heaven

A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

A ladder to heaven

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

Once while traveling, Nasruddin got embroiled in a religious debate with some Greek Orthodox priests.

“Tell us,” said one priest, “how did your Prophet Mohammed ascend to Heaven, pray tell?”

Nasruddin simply responded, “With the ladder left behind by your prophets, my prophets actually climbed up and reached Heaven.”

 

Excerpted from the forthcoming book,

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

 

 


What the boy lost

A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

What the boy lost

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

One day, Nasruddin’s son went to the hamam. After a while, the hamamji came to Mullah’s house and told him, “Today at the hammam, your son lost his mind.”

Mullah responds, “Forget it — you must be kidding. The boy has lost his mind already, a long time ago. So while he was at the hammam, he must have lost something else.”

 

Excerpted from the forthcoming book,

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

 

 


Separate the wheat from the barley

A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 Separate the wheat from the barley

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

One day, a man said to young Nasruddin, “I bet you’re too stupid to count on your fingers.”

The boy said, “Looks are deceiving. Try me.”

The fellow said, “Okay then, first, take two sacks of wheat.” The boy carefully folded down both his pinky and ring finger.

“And then take two sacks of barley.” The boy bent his forefinger and thumb down, which of course left his middle finger pointing out. The man acted offended and asked, “Why do you let the middle one stand out like that?”

Nasruddin replied, “So that the wheat does not mix with the barley.”

 

Excerpted from the forthcoming book,

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

 

 


The riddle

A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

The Riddle

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

One day, Mullah Nasruddin posed this riddle to the chai shop wags: “Who has entered, come out, and will enter again; entered, come out, and will not enter again; not yet entered, and will enter; and not yet entered, and will not enter?”

Everyone was dumbfounded.

“Here are the answers: Adam and Eve; Satan; the Muslims; and the infidels,” said the Mullah.

 

Excerpted from the forthcoming Lethe Press book by Ron J. Suresha,

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin, by Ron J. Suresha

 

 


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