Listen. Laugh. Repeat. Mullah Nasruddin on audiobook

NSR Nasruddin audiobook cover rev
NSR Nasruddin audiobook cover rev

Listen, laugh, repeat!

The Uncommon Sense of the Immortal Mullah Nasruddin
Stories, jests, and donkey tales of the beloved Persian folk hero
by Ron J. Suresha

Now available on Audible.com

narrated by Ted Brooks

* An Anne Izard Storytellers’ Choice Award Winner
* A Storytelling World Honor Book

Noted voice talent Ted Brooks captures the wit, wisdom and uncommon sense of humor of Mullah Nasruddin, the beloved folk character known in his native Turkey as Nasreddin Hoca and by other names throughout the Middle and Far East, in this award-winning, unabridged collection of more than 365 authentic stories and jokes.

Storytellers, folklorists, Sufis, comedians, wisdom seekers, and everyone who loves to laugh will be enriched and enlightened by the timeless wit and wisdom of Mullah Nasruddin.

Listen to a sample and get the audiobook of Uncommon Sense on Audible.com.

  • Length: 7 hrs and 55 mins
  • Format: Unabridged
  • $19.95 or Free with Membership
  • Lethe Press / Audible.com

 

 

Swimming instructor

A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

Swimming Instructor

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

One day Mullah Nasruddin was walking along a riverbank when he decided to do a necessity.

Once he’d cleaned himself, he stood up and watched his buoyant pile float away by itself, meandering down the stream.

Nasruddin gasped with disbelief, and exclaimed, “Ai vai! Undoubtedly the end of the world is nigh! Surely Judgment Day has come upon us! For this unclean thing teaches us how to swim and stay afloat in the water!”

 

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

now in print from Lethe Press

doublestar-crescent smileOrder the book from Amazon here.

Why the sky has no poles

A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

Why the sky has no poles

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

One day as Nasruddin was preaching on the rostrum, he declared, “O true believers! We must give thanks to Allah for His infinite wisdom. For example, praise be to God that He created the sky without poles.”
The congregation was confused.
Nasruddin explained, “If He had, imagine what it would be like. In order to make a pole stand sturdy enough to hold up the entire sky, all the trees and rocks in
the world would not be sufficient.”

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

now in print from Lethe Press

~

Accept and adjust

A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

Accept and adjust

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

One day while walking near Lake Aksehir, Mullah Nasruddin encountered a huge turtle. Seeing the Mullah, the turtle tried to beat a hasty retreat. However, Nasruddin noticed how agilely the creature moved and exclaimed, “What a strong and sturdy steed you would be for me, if only such an ugly and wild beast such as you can be tamed!”

Acting decisively, he leapt at the turtle, seized its shell and sat down on its back. The turtle, however, struggled mightily to throw him off.

Nasruddin yelled, “You can shake all you want in a vain attempt to dislodge me, but mark my words: sooner or later, you’ll get accustomed to carrying your new master!”

 

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

now in print from Lethe Press

~

White halvah

A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

White halvah

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

One day, Nasruddin was walking in the market with his son, Ahmet, when he pointed to a white halvah and asked, “Boy, do you know what that is?”

Ahmet answered, “That is a pot with white onions.”

The Mullah said, “If I taught that to God, surely He would deny me His grace!”

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

now in print from Lethe Press

~

Third thief’s a charm

A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

Third thief’s a charm

One day, three thieves broke into Mullah Nasruddin’s house. They grabbed him and demanded, “Tell us where you hide your money.”
Nasruddin denied having any cash hidden, but the crooks didn’t believe him. “Until you confess the location of your treasure, you will stand on one leg.”
So they made the Mullah stand on one leg. After several hours, the thieves became sleepy, so they decided to take turns keeping watch over Nasruddin. Two of the men fell asleep while the third stayed awake with Nasruddin, threatening him with a large knife from escaping.
Halfway through the night, the third thief felt a wave of compassion for the Mullah and whispered to him, “Okay, my friend, you can switch legs. Just don’t tell the other guys.”
Relieved, the Mullah thanked the third thief and told him quietly, “My son, you seem like a decent fellow. So I’ll tell you this: my money is buried in the backyard behind the mulberry tree. Without waking your friends, quickly go now and take the money all for yourself. Then scram and don’t look back.”

Mullah Nasruddin and his donkey, Karakacan. Portrait by Jaxinto.
Mullah Nasruddin and his donkey, Karakacan. Portrait by Jaxinto.

 

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

now in print from Lethe Press

~

My regular turban

A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

My regular turban

As the vicious despot Tamerlane and his troops approached the town in which Nasruddin lived, a group of village elders came to Nasruddin’s house and awoke him, terrified.

The Mullah sleepily answered the door, and the townspeople implored him to quickly do something to stop the tyrant from marching through and rampaging in Akşehir.

Immediately Nasruddin took his bedsheets and wrapped them around his nearly bald head. When he finished, it looked like a turban as big as a wheel. Then, naked except for the turban, he mounted his little gray donkey and rode out to meet Tamerlane.

Mullah Nasruddin and his donkey, Karakacan. Portrait by Jaxinto.
Mullah Nasruddin and his donkey, Karakacan. Portrait by Jaxinto.

When Nasruddin approached Tamerlane, the shah exclaimed, “Mullah! What in the world are you wearing for a turban‽”

“Please pardon me for wearing it, your Highness,” replied Nasruddin, yawning, “but this is actually just my nightcap. I wanted to be sure to welcome you early, so I have rushed from my bed wearing this instead of my regular turban. The turban that I usually wear during the day is even bigger and requires another cart to follow after me.”

Tamerlane was so shocked at the strange outsized clothes of the townspeople that he decided to keep moving on. After the tyrant left, Nasruddin unwrapped his turban, wrapped the sheet around himself, mounted his little grey donkey, and returned home to get some sleep.

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

now in print from Lethe Press

~

Putting out roots

by rjs
Categories: Announcements
Comments: Comments Off
Published on: November 24, 2014
A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

Putting out roots

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

Once Nasruddin observed a grove of trees and thought, Since those trees bear fruit, why shouldn’t I?
So the Mullah went to the field and buried himself up to his belly in theground. When night fell, the Mullah became cold and so he dug himself out and returned home.

The next day, when Fatima asked him how it went, he said, “It was okay at first. I was just about to put out roots when the cold killed them.”

 

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

now in print from Lethe Press

Thanks to the following folks for hosting readings of EAOMN:

~ Saints + Sinners Literary Festival

~ OutWrite Literary Festival, Washington, DC

~ Matt and Provincetown Public Library

~ Donnie and Greg at Bureau of General Services / Queer Division

~ Vanessa and Bank Street Book Nook

~

 

 


Stuck in the mud

A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

Stuck in the mud

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

One day, Nasruddin came home and said to Fatima, “My dear, why don’t you cook a nice pilaf. I feel very good today. Let’s have a nice evening.”

Fatima made a lovely pilaf for dinner, which they enjoyed greatly. After they cleaned up and were getting ready for bed, there was a knock at the door. Fatima answered it and discovered her neighbor, Setare, standing there, anxious to gossip about the news of the day.

“Our donkey had twins this morning,” shared Setare, walking right in. “But one of the little ones was born without a tail or ears. It seems so peculiar.” The women continued chatting for a while about this and that, and eventually the neighbor left.

When Fatima returned to bed, Nasruddin asked, “So what’s up with our neighbors, Setare and Hussein?”

Fatima replied, “Oh, don’t even ask. Their jenny-mule had twins this morning, but one of the little donkeys was born without a tail or ears. How weird.”

Hearing this, the Mullah became enraged, growling, “Oh, that’s just fucking lovely. Maybe twice a year, we decide to have a pleasant evening together — and then the neighbor’s donkey gives birth to twins, and it’s all ruined!”

“Mullah, calm down,” said Fatima, “it’s hardly of any consequence. Why should you get all bent out of shape about the neighbor’s deformed baby donkey?”

Nasruddin fumed, “Is it possible not to be upset about such a thing? Just think about this for a minute. Three years from now, the animal will be three years old. It’ll be taken by Hussein to the mountain to haul firewood, and one day the animal will likely get stuck in the mud of a swamp, and he won’t be able to move it. So naturally, Hussein’ll come to me to ask for help, and then since the donkey won’t have ears or a tail, there will be nothing at all to hold on to, to pull him out of the mud. What a horrid predicament we’ll no doubt find ourselves in then!”

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

now in print from Lethe Press

~

 

 


No time to be sick

A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

No time to be sick

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

Fatima was quite ill for several weeks, and the Mullah devotedly cared for her.
But after he had nursed his wife for all that time, he felt his strength fading and said to her, “My love! Stand up, or let me go eat something and wash myself!”
She started to cry, but the Mullah went away. She thought, This is no time be sick! Once he was gone, she rose hastily, swept the house, cooked the food, and prepared the beds. Finally Fatima, after having put everything in the house in order, finally collapsed back in her own bed.
When the Mullah returned and saw her passed out in bed, he clasped his trembling hands and ran to his wife’s side. Laying his head upon her abdomen, he shouted, “Oh, now she’s dead! My dear little boy, my dear little girl! Now you can no longer be born!”

 

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

now in print from Lethe Press

~

 

 


The hospitality bowl

A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

The hospitality bowl

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

Once, Nasruddin was traveling and entered a village that had a reputation for being inhospitable. The Mullah intended to test this stereotype, so he went up to the front door of a modest home and knocked. When the master of the house answered the knock, the Mullah simply requested a drink of water.

A moment later, the man reappeared at the door with a ceramic bowl full of milk. Nasruddin accepted it gratefully and drank it while the man watched, smiling
sheepishly.

After thanking the fellow for his kindness, Nasruddin added, “You know, I’d
heard that people in your town here were all stingy, miserly folk. Yet, I’ve found you to be welcoming and generous. You didn’t just give me water, you gave me milk to drink.”

“Oh, well, normally I wouldn’t have given you the milk,” replied the man, “except that a mouse had fallen in it.”

Mullah, stunned at the betrayal, dropped the bowl.

“Be careful, you fool!” yelled the man. “Don’t break that bowl — it’s the one that my daughter uses to piss in!”

 

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

now in print from Lethe Press

~

 

 


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