Four-legged ducks

by rjs
Categories: From the book Extraordinary Adventures
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Published on: October 27, 2014
A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

Four-legged ducks

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

One day Mullah Nasruddin was preaching in the mosque, and while he spoke, he became annoyed and then angry because he saw that some members of the congregation were yawning — some of them had even nodded off to sleep.
He paused, then began to talk loudly, “Recently I was taking a stroll down by the river, when I happened to see four-legged ducks drinking coffee.”
When the people heard the phrase “four-legged ducks,” their eyes opened, their ears pricked up, and their jaws dropped. Now they began to listen very carefully to the Mullah.
This made him even angrier, yelling at the congregation, “Why are you here, Muslims‽ The whole time I’m giving a thoughtful and impassioned sermon about some aspect of the Truth, and every single one of you falls asleep. But the moment I pull a whopper of a lie out of my ass, you all awaken and pay rapt attention.”

 

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

now in print from Lethe Press

~

 

 


A proper bird

by rjs
Categories: From the book Extraordinary Adventures
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Published on: October 13, 2014
A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

A proper bird

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

One day in the market, Mullah Nasruddin came across a vendor selling exotic birds of various sorts, including a stork. Mullah had never seen this sort of bird before. He bought one of these peculiar long-legged, long-beaked birds at the market, and brought him home.

When he returned home, he set the bird down on a table and got out a cage he had which previously held two pigeons. Nasruddin looked at the new bird critically, and realized that it would never fit in its cage. The proportions were all off. “You poor thing,” he sighed, “how did you ever grow into this wretched state‽”

So he took a knife and trimmed the stork’s beak and legs down to what looked like the right length. Then he put the stork in his cage and said, “Well, now not only do you finally fit, at least you look like a proper bird!”

 

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

now in print from Lethe Press

~

 

 


Cow or donkey?

by rjs
Categories: From the book Extraordinary Adventures
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Published on: October 6, 2014
A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

Cow or donkey?

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

One day, Fatima wanted milk for their children, so she nagged her husband, Mullah Nasruddin, to get a cow so they might have a steady source on hand.

“My dear,” countered Nasruddin, “I would gladly obtain for us a cow, but there is simply no room in the stable for one. It’s just large enough for my little donkey, Karakacan, and I want her to be comfortable.”

The donkey’s comfort, or lack thereof, hardly seemed rationale enough to avoid getting a cow, so Fatima pressed her husband with her request until finally he relented. He threw his leg over Karakacan’s back and rode to market and, after considerable deliberation and bargaining, he chose a healthy-looking bovine and led her home.

Nasruddin was still sure that his donkey would suffer greatly, so he took the time on his way home with the cow to acquaint Allah with his predicament. He knelt on his prayer rug and, after bowing his head, he turned up his hands in appeal to the Almighty.

“Oh Allah,” Mullah prayed, “Thou know that I love my little grey donkey, and that she won’t be at ease with a cow in the same stable. Dear Allah, if it be Thy will, please take the life of my cow, that my beloved little gray donkey, Karakacan, will be at peace.” Having left the matter in God’s hands, Nasruddin returned home, stabled and fed both animals, and went about the rest of his affairs.

The next morning, Mullah scurried out to the stable to see how his donkey managed overnight. To his shock, he found Karakacan had fallen down dead. “Ai vai,” he wailed, heartbroken at the loss of his longtime friend.

Fatima, hearing his cries, ran to the window and called out, “Mullah, what is the matter?”

“It is nothing,” Nasruddin muttered, then added under his breath bitterly, “nothing but my dear little donkey.”

After Fatima closed the window, Nasruddin fell to his knees once again in supplication to God. “Oh Allah, Thou art all-knowing and all-powerful. But can Thou not tell the basic difference between a cow and a donkey‽”

 

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

now in print from Lethe Press

~

 

 


Hot couture

by rjs
Categories: From the book Extraordinary Adventures
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Published on: September 29, 2014
A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

Hot couture

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

One swelteringly hot day at the chai shop, Mullah and the wags were discussing distant lands. Faik declared, “There are some places where it so hot that the most people go around completely naked.”

Nasruddin asked, “Without clothes, how in the world do they tell the women from the men?”

 

 

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

now in print from Lethe Press

~

 

 


Short-term commitment

by rjs
Categories: From the book Extraordinary Adventures, From the book Uncommon Sense
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Published on: September 22, 2014
A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

Short-term commitment

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

One day in the chai shop, Mali asked Nasruddin, “Why is it that you never speak your wife’s name?”

“Because I have no idea what it is,” said the Mullah.

“What‽ How long have you been married?”

“We’ve been married maybe twenty years, give or take a few.”

Jafar asked, “Mullah, you’re married now for two decades and you don’t know your wife’s name‽”

Nasruddin said, “When we were wed, by our parents’ arrangement, I had no intention of making a go at the marriage, so why should I learn her name?”

Mali said, “It’s Fatima, you dolt. You really can’t remember the year you married Fatima, your wife?”

“To tell the truth, I don’t remember exactly when we were wed,” Nasruddin replied. “As should be clear to you by now, it happened long before I had any sense whatsoever.”

 

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

now in print from Lethe Press

~

 

 


Ron reads “Nasruddin’s nail” from Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin

by rjs
Categories: From the book Extraordinary Adventures
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Published on: September 12, 2014

XNS coverSquareAuthor Ron Suresha reads the folk tale “Nasruddin’s nail” from his book, Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin

Sowing camel seeds

by rjs
Categories: From the book Extraordinary Adventures
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Published on: September 8, 2014
A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

Sowing camel seeds

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

One day in early spring, while Mullah Nasruddin was ploughing his field, his friends Hamza and Faruk came up to him and asked, “Mullah, what are you planting here?”

“Camel seeds,” he answered. The Mullah then chatted with his friends for a few minutes before they continued on their way.

Late that summer, Nasruddin was walking out to the field when he saw three camels munching on the wheat growing there. He reined them and led the animals back to his stable, then went to the house and told Fatima, “My camel seeds have at last sprouted, seemingly overnight.”

The next day, Musa, the owner of the camels, finally noticed his animals had escaped their pen. Carefully, he followed their tracks to the Mullah’s place. He knocked at the house.

The Mullah answered the door and Musa said, “My camels ran off, and I followed them here. Give them back to me.”

Nasruddin scoffed, “What sort of bullshit is this? Those camels are the crop that I sowed in my own field.”

Musa took Nasruddin to court. When Bekri, the judge, asked the Mullah to speak in his defense, he said, “Your Honor, those animals are the product of camel seeds I planted months ago.”

Bekri asked him, “Do you have any evidence or witnesses?”

“I most certainly do. Let me get them.” Nasruddin left the court and brought Hamza and Faruk back before the judge.

Bekri asked them, “Did you witness the defendant, Nasruddin, planting camel seeds?”

Faruk said, “Yes, it’s true, we saw it. Early in the spring, we stopped by the Mullah’s place and saw him sowing camel seeds in his field.” Hamza confirmed the facts.

There was nothing left for Musa to say, so the judge said, “I rule in favor of Nasruddin. Case dismissed.”

 

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

now in print from Lethe Press!

 

 


Afraid to miss it

by rjs
Categories: From the book Extraordinary Adventures, The Daily Nasruddin
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Published on: August 25, 2014
A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

The Prophet’s Traditions

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

When one of young Nasruddin’s brothers died, his mother told him, “Go now and buy a shroud, and some balm!”

However, the boy replied, “I won’t go — send someone else!”

She asked him why he would not go. He said, “I’m afraid I’ll miss the funeral!”

 

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

forthcoming November 2014 from Lethe Press

 

 


Penitence

by rjs
Categories: From the book Extraordinary Adventures
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Published on: August 18, 2014
A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

  Penitence

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

Nasruddin was a homely fellow with plain features, although his long scraggly beard did cover up a fair amount of ugliness. Once when he was in the market, a woman walked right up to him and stared at him with a cold, mean expression.
Nasruddin tried to ignore the woman but when after several minutes she had not stopped gawking at him, he confronted her, “What does this mean — that you fix your sight on me with such a severe look on your face?”
The woman answered, “I have committed a great sin with my eyes and wanted to repent, so I vowed that I had to look at something completely disgusting to atone. I’ve been searching for days, and I could not find anything more disgusting to look at than you.”

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

forthcoming November 2014 from Lethe Press

 

 


Turban is no strap

by rjs
Categories: From the book Extraordinary Adventures
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Published on: August 11, 2014
A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

Turban is no strap

 

NSR Nasruddin audiobook cover rev
NSR Nasruddin audiobook cover rev

Once Mullah Nasruddin was plowing his field when the well-worn leather strap he used to tie the ox to the yoke broke. There was no way the animal could pull the plow this way, so he unwrapped the turban from his head and used that to hold the yoke, but soon enough that failed as well.

He pointed to his now dirty, mangled turban, and addressed it, saying, “All this time you’ve been so lazy, just sitting atop my head all day long. I’ll bet you never realized how hard the strap works, plowing the field, day after day. Now you get a taste of just how crappy it feels for the strap!”

 

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

forthcoming November 2014 from Lethe Press

 

 


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