My regular turban

A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

My regular turban

As the vicious despot Tamerlane and his troops approached the town in which Nasruddin lived, a group of village elders came to Nasruddin’s house and awoke him, terrified.

The Mullah sleepily answered the door, and the townspeople implored him to quickly do something to stop the tyrant from marching through and rampaging in Akşehir.

Immediately Nasruddin took his bedsheets and wrapped them around his nearly bald head. When he finished, it looked like a turban as big as a wheel. Then, naked except for the turban, he mounted his little gray donkey and rode out to meet Tamerlane.

Mullah Nasruddin and his donkey, Karakacan. Portrait by Jaxinto.
Mullah Nasruddin and his donkey, Karakacan. Portrait by Jaxinto.

When Nasruddin approached Tamerlane, the shah exclaimed, “Mullah! What in the world are you wearing for a turban‽”

“Please pardon me for wearing it, your Highness,” replied Nasruddin, yawning, “but this is actually just my nightcap. I wanted to be sure to welcome you early, so I have rushed from my bed wearing this instead of my regular turban. The turban that I usually wear during the day is even bigger and requires another cart to follow after me.”

Tamerlane was so shocked at the strange outsized clothes of the townspeople that he decided to keep moving on. After the tyrant left, Nasruddin unwrapped his turban, wrapped the sheet around himself, mounted his little grey donkey, and returned home to get some sleep.

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

now in print from Lethe Press

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No harm on the outside

A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

No harm on the outside

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

Once the tyrant Tamerlane wanted to test Nasruddin’s nerve and ordered him to stand in front of a wooden target with his arms spread wide open. “You are to stay there absolutely still, while three of my finest archers will each shoot a single arrow at you.”

The first archer stepped up, aimed, and sent the arrow hurtling toward Nasruddin. The arrow hit the wall behind him with a thud just below his left wrist, pinning his shirtsleeve. Nasruddin showed a resolute face, silently reciting verses from the Quran that pertain to survival.

The second soldier walked up, aimed, and shot. The arrow sliced through the air and landed with an even louder thwack just below Nasruddin’s right elbow. Now both his arms were immobilized, but Nasruddin kept composed, fervently praying to Allah.

The third arrow pierced the knot at the top of Nasruddin’s turban with a juddering twang! Tamerlane thought that at first that Nasruddin had fainted, because his eyes were closed and he was motionless. But then the Mullah opened his eyes and laughed.

Tamerlane said, “Nasruddin, you have passed my test! I command your courageousness. Rest assured I will replace your shirt and turban with fine replacements, and reward you later. Congratulations!”

Nasruddin replied in a weak voice, “If it please your Majesty, I beg of you to issue me a set of trousers as well, so that I may have a complete set of new clothes.”

“But your pants were not cut or damaged by an arrow.”

“Quite true,” said Nasruddin, “your archers did my trousers no harm on the outside. However, the inside of my trousers is a completely different situation.”

 

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

forthcoming November 2014 from Lethe Press

 

 


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