commentary | Mullah Nasruddin Books by Ron J. Suresha

Do You Believe Me, or the Donkey?

Categories: From the book Uncommon Sense, The Daily Nasruddin

Tags: commentary, donkey tales, faruk, karakacan, nasruddin, Nasruddin jokes, Nasruddin stories

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Published on: September 10, 2011

Do You Believe Me, or the Donkey?

On another occasion, Faruk called on his neighbor to try to convince Nasruddin to lend him his little grey donkey.

“Terribly sorry,” he answered, “but I have already lent out the animal to go to the mill.”

No sooner had Nasruddin spoken than the donkey brayed from in the stable.

“But Nasruddin,” said Faruk, “I can hear your donkey, inside there! I’m disappointed that you won’t let an old friend like me borrow your donkey.”

Nasruddin said in his most dignified manner, “A man who believes the word of a simple donkey over that of a respectable mullah with a long white beard like me does not deserve to be lent anything.” And with that, he shut the door in Faruk’s face.

Excerpted from The Uncommon Sense of the Immortal Mullah Nasruddin: Stories, Jests, and Donkey Tales of the Beloved Persian Folk Hero

Your Daily Nasruddin

Another example of Nasruddin’s brilliant idiocy.

Find It or Else

by rjs

Categories: From the book Uncommon Sense, The Daily Nasruddin

Tags: commentary, excerpts, nasruddin, Nasruddin jokes, Nasruddin stories, teashop

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Published on: September 9, 2011

Find It or Else

Once Nasruddin was traveling on business when he rushed into the local teahouse in a panic, yelling, “I have misplaced my saddlebag! You must find it for me at once, or else — I know what I’ll do! If I don’t find it, by Allah! I’ll have to —”

“Don’t panic, Mullah, no need for desperate measures,” Hussein assured him. “I’ll help you find your old saddlebag. Now just sit down and think for a moment: where was your bag the last time you saw it?”

So he helped Nasruddin retrace his steps, and sure enough, they found the saddlebag, right where he left it.

As they returned to the teahouse, Hussein asked, “What were you saying that you would have done if we hadn’t found your saddlebag, Nasruddin?”

“Well, I would have had to cut up an old kilim rug I have in my shed and stitch it together to make a new one.”

Excerpted from The Uncommon Sense of the Immortal Mullah Nasruddin: Stories, Jests, and Donkey Tales of the Beloved Persian Folk Hero

Your Daily Nasruddin

This story shows how you may threaten people to get them to help you. Just say, “Or else…!” in an agitated or even slightly insane manner, then trail off and never complete your statement. But after you acheive your goal, when someone confronts you asking what the alternative was, smile and tell the truth.

Somebody Else’s Donkey

by rjs

Categories: From the book Uncommon Sense, The Daily Nasruddin

Tags: commentary, donkey tales, karakacan, nasruddin, Nasruddin jokes, Nasruddin stories

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Published on: September 5, 2011

Someone Else’s Donkey

Once, Luqman, the town constable or bekche, realized that his own donkey was missing.

Immediately Nasruddin organized a search party to help find the lost animal.

He led the search, walking up and down the streets of Akşehir, singing in a loud and rather unmelodious voice.

Nasruddin’s screeching was indeed so awful that the neighbors shut their windows. Even dogs laid down and put their paws over their ears.

Finally Mali, who was with Nasruddin’s group, asked him, “Why are you making all that horrid noise, Nasruddin? Do you really expect to find the donkey by singing like that?”

“Of course, one can sing like this to find a donkey,” the Mullah replied, “if it is somebody else’s donkey.”

Excerpted from The Uncommon Sense of the Immortal Mullah Nasruddin: Stories, Jests, and Donkey Tales of the Beloved Persian Folk Hero

Your Daily Nasruddin

When I was titling this book, I certainly wanted to include the phrase “donkey tales.”

Tales and jokes about Nasruddin and his little grey donkey are the most prevalent types of Mullah jokes. There’s something classically funny yet poignant about a situation with a man and his ass.

In the book I took literary license to name the Mullah’s donkey, Karakachan.

I asked several sources, including my Turkish bear friend Mali (and who even asked a librarian for me, I believe) if anyone was aware or could locate the name of Nasruddin’s beloved donkey. The answer was “no name for the donkey.”

I recognize that in Turkey it’s uncommon to name pets and animals, but the donkey is a central character in the play of Nasruddin’s life, so I asked a native Turk to invent a funny name for a donkey.

Mali suggested a pet name for a donkey, Karakachan, which sounded to my ear like a fun name for a beast of burden – although I know no Turkish. When I asked a Turkish restaurateur I befriended in New London, CT, where I wrote the book, he agreed that Karakachan sounded like a good name for Nasruddin’s famous donkey.

So that’s how Nasruddin’s little grey donkey got her name.

The Providential Poultry

by rjs

Categories: From the book Uncommon Sense, The Daily Nasruddin

Tags: commentary, excerpts, fatima, nasruddin, Nasruddin jokes, Nasruddin stories

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Published on: August 29, 2011

The Providential Poultry

Once while Nasruddin was walking down a dusty road, he found a dead chicken, which may or may not have already been dead when apparently it had been run over by a cart. He took the badly mangled roadkill home, plucked it, and prepared it. When he set the roasted bird on the table, Nasruddin’s wife Fatima could see there was something afoul with the fowl.

“Where did you get the run-over poultry?” she asked.

“This chicken is Providential,” Nasruddin retorted, “as it appeared before me already dead on the road as I was walking.”

Fatima protested, “But Nasruddin, the bird is unclean and cannot be eaten, because it has not lost its life by a man’s hand.”

“I believe you misunderstand the dietary laws,” replied the Mullah. “Is a perfectly edible roasted chicken considered unclean, because God has killed it, instead of you?”

Excerpted from The Uncommon Sense of the Immortal Mullah Nasruddin: Stories, Jests, and Donkey Tales of the Beloved Persian Folk Hero

Your Daily Nasruddin

Resourceful as ever, Nasruddin explains why the chicken didn’t cross the road.

This, he reasons, must be God’s will: that the bird was run over, that he came across the befouled fowl before anyone else did, and that it is destined to be his dinner.

Providence is the will of God — but only as interpreted by humans.

Residents of Providence (Rhode Island, that is), by the way, are sometimes called “Providenizens.”

None Is More than Enough

by rjs

Categories: From the book Uncommon Sense, The Daily Nasruddin

Tags: commentary, excerpts, fatima, nasruddin, Nasruddin jokes, Nasruddin stories

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Published on: August 26, 2011

None Is More than Enough

Aslan, a wealthy businessman who enjoyed Nasruddin’s company, invited him to go bear hunting. Nasruddin was terrified at the prospect, but he couldn’t decline the invitation for fear of offending Aslan, so he joined his bear-hunting party.

Upon Nasruddin’s return home in the evening, Fatima asked him how the hunt went.

“It was so marvelous — I cannot even begin to tell you,” he replied wearily.

“So then tell me,” Fatima asked. “How many bears did you kill, Nasruddin?”

“None.”

“How many did you chase?”

“None.”

“How many bears did you see?”

“None.”

“You’ve been gone all day. How could it have gone so ‘marvelously,’ then?” asked Fatima.

“When you’re hunting bears,” sighed Nasruddin, “none is more than enough.”

Excerpted from The Uncommon Sense of the Immortal Mullah Nasruddin: Stories, Jests, and Donkey Tales of the Beloved Persian Folk Hero

Your Daily Nasruddin

This story has Fatima, and four-legged bears. How cool is that?

Actually, the story has zero bears, and that’s where its humor lies. Fatima has to get the Mullah to finally admit that even though he spent the whole day hunting, the bears were, to his great relief, absent from the hunt.

So, we may consider: is the hunting in the pursuit of prey — or is it in the killing?

Better to See the Dream

by rjs

Categories: From the book Uncommon Sense, The Daily Nasruddin

Tags: commentary, excerpts, fatima, nasruddin, Nasruddin stories

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Published on: August 25, 2011

Better to See the Dream

One night Fatima awoke from a sound sleep to see the Mullah standing over her. He shook her gently saying, “Wake up! Get up, Fatima, and find my spectacles — I need them right now!”

As she awoke, Fatima mumbled, “Why in the world you need your spectacles in the middle of the night, Nasruddin?”

“Oh Fatima, I was having the most lovely dream. A gorgeous angel came to me and hovered midair before me in the distance. She promised me a fortune in gold pieces, and motioned to me that she would return in another dream to deliver the gold.”

“So why do you need your spectacles now — and why such a hurry?”

“For the life of me, I cannot make out the angel’s face in the dream,” explained the Mullah, “and I need my spectacles so I can see her face clearly! How else can I recognize her when she returns in the next dream? Quick, now, go get them — before I wake up!”

Excerpted from The Uncommon Sense of the Immortal Mullah Nasruddin: Stories, Jests, and Donkey Tales of the Beloved Persian Folk Hero

Your Daily Nasruddin

In this story, Nasruddin engages in what may be considered serial stupidity.

First, he dreams of an angel that will deliver him from his debts.

He believes that wealth dreamed of at night will be there in the light of day when he wakes up.

Not only that, he thinks that you can use your eyeglasses to see a dream better.

Even as the Mullah speaks to his wife Fatima, he asserts that he has not yet woken up.

And it is not enough to have so many crazy notions of his own; he must also involve his wife in his foolishness.

Is there any limit to a person’s foolishness?

Nine Will Do

by rjs

Categories: From the book Uncommon Sense, The Daily Nasruddin

Tags: commentary, excerpts, nasruddin, Nasruddin stories

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Published on: August 18, 2011

Nine Will Do

One evening before bed, Nasruddin prayed for a financial deliverance. “I must have ten gold pieces to pay off all my debts,” he whispered in his prayers. “Nine will not do. Eleven, more than I need. Ten, God willing, would be perfect.”

Nasruddin fell into the most wonderful dream: he found himself kneeling and holding out his hands before a fabulous angel, who was smiling beatifically. The angel was holding a large pot full of gold, from which she took out one gold coin after another, counting each piece as she placed it in Nasruddin’s outstretched fingers, “One … two … three …”

The gold pot was so large and full, and the angel so generous! With each coin that fell into Nasruddin’s cupped hands, he felt a thrilling rush of grace course through his body.

“Four … five … six …,” continued the honey-voiced divinity as the gold coins landed happily in Nasruddin’s palms. With each clink of the metal coins, he experienced a surge of ecstatic energy. It was almost too much! Could he withstand yet even more blessings?

“Seven … eight … nine …” Nasruddin counted with the angel. “Ten! I got all ten! They are mine!” he shouted jubilantly, finding himself wide awake with his arms outstretched, his hands clutched heavenward, but his palms bare.

Finding his fortune vanished, Nasruddin immediately lay down under the covers and pretended to sleep again. He shut his eyes tight and held up his hands, saying, “Okay, divine angel — I’ll settle for nine!”

Excerpted from The Uncommon Sense of the Immortal Mullah Nasruddin: Stories, Jests, and Donkey Tales of the Beloved Persian Folk Hero

Your Daily Nasruddin

This story was very popular among my sources, varying in quantity of gold pieces. The great meditation master Baba Muktananda used to tell this story with delight, in order to point out the ephemeral nature of wealth, and the illusion that what we discover in our dreams can be brought into the reality of the world.

Axe and Ye Shall Receive

by rjs

Categories: From the book Uncommon Sense, The Daily Nasruddin

Tags: commentary, excerpts, nasruddin, Nasruddin jokes, Nasruddin stories

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Published on: August 15, 2011

Axe and Ye Shall Receive

One day, Nasruddin returned home from the grain mill where he worked, ready to cook dinner, when he realized that he had no firewood. So with his trusty axe tied securely in his back of his belt, he walked into the woods to chop down a tree.

It was already well past dusk and dark, when Nasruddin found a good tree to chop down. He spat on his hands as if to get ready to grasp something, when realized he had misplaced his axe. He looked quickly all around the ground in the area, but his search was in vain.

Finally in desperation, he cried: “O Lord! If Thou can find my axe, then I promise Thou eight measures of barley!”

As Nasruddin uttered his prayer, and raised his arms in supplication to the Almighty, his tool slipped from his belt and landed with a loud kelankk! on the hard ground behind him. He turned around and, overjoyed to have found his axe again, shouted heavenward: “Truly I offer Thou my thanks, my Lord! But since it is so easy for Thou hear my prayers, let me also just ask Thou to find me eight measures of barley, so that I may I rid myself of the obligation toward Thou!”

Excerpted from The Uncommon Sense of the Immortal Mullah Nasruddin: Stories, Jests, and Donkey Tales of the Beloved Persian Folk Hero

Your Daily Nasruddin

Nasruddin asked God to find his lost axe, which was right there in his belt the whole time, and promised God a reward for finding the tool. Then, when the axe dropped, Nasruddin reneged on his promise of a reward.

Why do we pretend to rely on God for even the most mundane details of our lives, then act as if every pedestrian event in our lives is providential? Chop wood when you chop wood, carry water when you carry water. But maybe best to unburden God with the responsibility for every single aspect of our everyday lives.

Preventive Measure

by rjs

Categories: From the book Uncommon Sense, The Daily Nasruddin

Tags: ahmet, commentary, excerpts, nasruddin, Nasruddin stories

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Published on: August 10, 2011

Preventive Measure

One morning, the wise fool Mullah Nasruddin woke up, yawned, and put on his dressing-gown, as he did every day.

Mullah Nasruddin

He decided that he would bathe early, and needed water for his bath, so he called for Ahmet, his son. He handed him a large earthen vase and told him to go fill the container at the nearby well. The boy took the vessel and turned to go, but just then Nasruddin swatted him across the back and yelled, “And don’t break it!” which nearly made Ahmet drop the fragile vessel.

Faruk, Nasruddin’s nosy neighbor, who watched the whole thing, reproached

Nasruddin after his son left. “Nasruddin, why were you so harsh with your child? Why did you punish him before he’s broken anything or done something wrong?”

Nasruddin regarded his neighbor and said, “Don’t be foolish. It wouldn’t do any good to reprimand him after he broke the vase, would it?”

Excerpted from The Uncommon Sense of the Immortal Mullah Nasruddin: Stories, Jests, and Donkey Tales of the Beloved Persian Folk Hero

Your Daily Nasruddin

Although corporal punishment for children is no longer acceptable in many if not most families, this story’s humor comes from the Mullah’s anachronism. He wants the child to be careful with the water jug, but in striking the child before he does anything wrong – in fact, which could cause the child to drop the vase – Nasruddin has reversed precaution and punishment.

And of course it’s always funny when a fool like Nasruddin calls someone else foolish.

Special Kind of Music

by rjs

Categories: From the book Uncommon Sense, The Daily Nasruddin

Tags: commentary, excerpts, nasruddin, Nasruddin stories

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Published on: August 3, 2011

Special Kind of Music

One evening Nasruddin and his young son, Ahmet, were walking down a road in town. They saw two thieves trying to break into a business, making a lot of noise by filing the front door lock. Nasruddin tried to get past the danger without making more trouble for himself but then the inquisitive boy said loudly, “Father! Who are those men in front of the store?”

“You hush – me hush!” whispered Nasruddin. “The men are musicians, playing their instruments.”

“But Father! What are they doing?”

“Shhh! They’re playing a special sort of song on the rebab*,” said Nasruddin.

“What sort of music are they playing? … Father! I can’t hear the rebab music,” whined Ahmet.

“Be quiet!” Nasruddin hushed his son, desperate to avoid attracting the thieves’ attention. “They’re playing a song, all right — but you won’t hear the music until tomorrow.”

Excerpted from The Uncommon Sense of the Immortal Mullah Nasruddin: Stories, Jests, and Donkey Tales of the Beloved Persian Folk Hero

Your Daily Nasruddin

* A rebab is a bowed instrument native to the Persian area.

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