Sowing camel seeds

by rjs
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Published on: September 8, 2014
A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

Sowing camel seeds

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

One day in early spring, while Mullah Nasruddin was ploughing his field, his friends Hamza and Faruk came up to him and asked, “Mullah, what are you planting here?”

“Camel seeds,” he answered. The Mullah then chatted with his friends for a few minutes before they continued on their way.

Late that summer, Nasruddin was walking out to the field when he saw three camels munching on the wheat growing there. He reined them and led the animals back to his stable, then went to the house and told Fatima, “My camel seeds have at last sprouted, seemingly overnight.”

The next day, Musa, the owner of the camels, finally noticed his animals had escaped their pen. Carefully, he followed their tracks to the Mullah’s place. He knocked at the house.

The Mullah answered the door and Musa said, “My camels ran off, and I followed them here. Give them back to me.”

Nasruddin scoffed, “What sort of bullshit is this? Those camels are the crop that I sowed in my own field.”

Musa took Nasruddin to court. When Bekri, the judge, asked the Mullah to speak in his defense, he said, “Your Honor, those animals are the product of camel seeds I planted months ago.”

Bekri asked him, “Do you have any evidence or witnesses?”

“I most certainly do. Let me get them.” Nasruddin left the court and brought Hamza and Faruk back before the judge.

Bekri asked them, “Did you witness the defendant, Nasruddin, planting camel seeds?”

Faruk said, “Yes, it’s true, we saw it. Early in the spring, we stopped by the Mullah’s place and saw him sowing camel seeds in his field.” Hamza confirmed the facts.

There was nothing left for Musa to say, so the judge said, “I rule in favor of Nasruddin. Case dismissed.”

 

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

now in print from Lethe Press!

 

 


Afraid to miss it

A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

The Prophet’s Traditions

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

When one of young Nasruddin’s brothers died, his mother told him, “Go now and buy a shroud, and some balm!”

However, the boy replied, “I won’t go — send someone else!”

She asked him why he would not go. He said, “I’m afraid I’ll miss the funeral!”

 

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

forthcoming November 2014 from Lethe Press

 

 


Listen and laugh: Mullah Nasruddin audiobook available

by rjs
Comments: Comments Off
Published on: August 22, 2014
NSR Nasruddin audiobook cover rev
NSR Nasruddin audiobook cover rev

Listen and laugh!

Mullah Nasruddin audiobook available on Audible.com

narrated by Ted Brooks

The Uncommon Sense of the Immortal Mullah Nasruddin
Stories, jests, and donkey tales of the beloved Persian folk hero
by Ron J. Suresha

  *   An Anne Izard Storytellers’ Choice Award Winner
*   A Storytelling World Honor Book

Noted voice talent Ted Brooks captures the wit, wisdom and uncommon sense of humor of Mullah Nasruddin, the beloved folk character known in his native Turkey as Nasreddin Hoca and by other names throughout the Middle and Far East, in this award-winning, unabridged collection of more than 365 authentic stories and jokes.

Once, when Nasruddin was acting up in school by distracting his classmates with endless antics, jests, and donkey tales, his irate teacher cursed the boy: “Whatever you do or say, wherever you go or stay, whether it’s night or day — people will only laugh at you.” Now, eight centuries later, children, adults, and wise fools everywhere are still telling and laughing at Mullah stories.

This entertaining and insightful retelling brings the famed Persian legend into the 21st Century. Storytellers, folklorists, Sufis, comedians, wisdom seekers, and everyone who loves to laugh will be enriched and enlightened by the timeless wit and wisdom of Mullah Nasruddin.

Check out the audiobook of Uncommon Sense on Audible.com

  • Length: 7 hrs and 55 mins 
  • Format: Unabridged
  • $19.95 or Free with Membership
  • Lethe Press / Audible.com

 

 

Penitence

A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

  Penitence

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

Nasruddin was a homely fellow with plain features, although his long scraggly beard did cover up a fair amount of ugliness. Once when he was in the market, a woman walked right up to him and stared at him with a cold, mean expression.
Nasruddin tried to ignore the woman but when after several minutes she had not stopped gawking at him, he confronted her, “What does this mean — that you fix your sight on me with such a severe look on your face?”
The woman answered, “I have committed a great sin with my eyes and wanted to repent, so I vowed that I had to look at something completely disgusting to atone. I’ve been searching for days, and I could not find anything more disgusting to look at than you.”

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

forthcoming November 2014 from Lethe Press

 

 


Turban is no strap

A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

Turban is no strap

 

NSR Nasruddin audiobook cover rev
NSR Nasruddin audiobook cover rev

Once Mullah Nasruddin was plowing his field when the well-worn leather strap he used to tie the ox to the yoke broke. There was no way the animal could pull the plow this way, so he unwrapped the turban from his head and used that to hold the yoke, but soon enough that failed as well.

He pointed to his now dirty, mangled turban, and addressed it, saying, “All this time you’ve been so lazy, just sitting atop my head all day long. I’ll bet you never realized how hard the strap works, plowing the field, day after day. Now you get a taste of just how crappy it feels for the strap!”

 

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

forthcoming November 2014 from Lethe Press

 

 


The greater fool

A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

The Greater Fool

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

Once while Mullah Nasruddin was traveling on donkeyback through Foolland, he passed two local folks trudging along on foot. Nasruddin greeted them, saying simply, “Good morning.”

As the Mullah kept moving on, the first fool stopped and remarked, “I’m wondering . . . why did that fellow speak to me, and not to you?”

The other retorted, “You self-centered moron, it was me he was addressing, not you.”

It hardly took a minute before the two were pushing and shoving each other. They were about to come to blows when one held up his hand and said, “I know — let’s ask him!” So they ran after the Mullah, who was trying to ease out of the skirmish and down the road with his donkey and life intact.

“Wait, Mullah! You must settle our dispute: which one of us were you saying ‘Good morning’ to?”

Nasruddin urged his little grey donkey to keep moving, and he replied to the men, “I said ‘Good morning’ to the greater of the two fools.”

“Well, obviously, that’s me,” declared the first fellow.

“Nonsense, of course he meant me, not you!” asserted the second.

“It’s obvious that I’m greater than you in every way.”

And so the two fools continued swearing and exchanging slaps in the middle of the road, raising a small cloud of dust that became smaller and smaller as Karakacan carried Mullah Nasruddin further away toward home, until he could hear or see them no more.

 

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

forthcoming November 2014 from Lethe Press

 

 


No harm on the outside

A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

No harm on the outside

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

Once the tyrant Tamerlane wanted to test Nasruddin’s nerve and ordered him to stand in front of a wooden target with his arms spread wide open. “You are to stay there absolutely still, while three of my finest archers will each shoot a single arrow at you.”

The first archer stepped up, aimed, and sent the arrow hurtling toward Nasruddin. The arrow hit the wall behind him with a thud just below his left wrist, pinning his shirtsleeve. Nasruddin showed a resolute face, silently reciting verses from the Quran that pertain to survival.

The second soldier walked up, aimed, and shot. The arrow sliced through the air and landed with an even louder thwack just below Nasruddin’s right elbow. Now both his arms were immobilized, but Nasruddin kept composed, fervently praying to Allah.

The third arrow pierced the knot at the top of Nasruddin’s turban with a juddering twang! Tamerlane thought that at first that Nasruddin had fainted, because his eyes were closed and he was motionless. But then the Mullah opened his eyes and laughed.

Tamerlane said, “Nasruddin, you have passed my test! I command your courageousness. Rest assured I will replace your shirt and turban with fine replacements, and reward you later. Congratulations!”

Nasruddin replied in a weak voice, “If it please your Majesty, I beg of you to issue me a set of trousers as well, so that I may have a complete set of new clothes.”

“But your pants were not cut or damaged by an arrow.”

“Quite true,” said Nasruddin, “your archers did my trousers no harm on the outside. However, the inside of my trousers is a completely different situation.”

 

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

forthcoming November 2014 from Lethe Press

 

 


The Dog Minister

A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

The Dog Minister

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

One day, when Mullah Nasruddin was walking toward the mosque, he saw a large dog at the door. He shooed away the dog, but instead it ran right up into the pulpit, where it began to bark and howl.

“What an amazing thing,” cried the Mullah. “This stupid creature must have been a former minister here!”

 

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

forthcoming November 2014 from Lethe Press

 

 


Final instruction

A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

Final instruction

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

When Mullah Nasruddin had sent his daughter, Hayat, to another village to be married, a group of women came to the house to escort her to her new home.

They were well on their way when they heard the Mullah yelling from behind. He had run all the way to catch up with the procession, and everyone was surprised to see him. He approached his daughter and breathlessly said, “Daughter, I almost forgot to give you my final instruction.”

“Yes, father,” Hayat said, “what is it?”

“Bear in mind that, when you sew, you should always make a knot at the end of the thread before you pass it through the eye of the needle. Don’t ever forget that.”

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

forthcoming November 2014 from Lethe Press

 

 


An eggplant by any other name

A Mullah Nasruddin / Nasreddin Hoca story

 

An eggplant by any other name

Mullah Nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin

One day, Hamza brought Mullah Nasruddin a small eggplant, saying, “Mullah, I wonder what this might be. Please tell me.”

He took the eggplant and turned it around and over in his hands, examining the odd purplish thing. After several minutes of this inspection, he said, “Hamza, my friend, I cannot tell you. But let us take it to my son, Ahmet. He will know better than me.”

They took the eggplant to Ahmet and showed it to him. He, too, looked at the thing from every angle before finally declaring, “You ridiculous old farts! What’s so hard about figuring it out? Obviously, this is a baby starling whose eyes have not yet opened.”

Excerpted from

Extraordinary Adventures of Mullah Nasruddin
by Ron J. Suresha

forthcoming November 2014 from Lethe Press

 

 


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